If your spouse uses any of the following, it could be a sign there
are problems in your marriage. Please remember, none of these behaviors
imply the relationship is broken. If you both have even the smallest bit
of love and determination to fix things, there is hope.
1. “You’re overreacting”
In the right context, this harmless sentence indicates he has lost
empathy for you. When you express that you’re tired, or that you’ve had a
long day, how does he react? If he no longer listens, or he tells you
you’re overreacting, it’s time to sit down and talk about it. Showing
gratitude – and empathy when needed — for what each of you do for the
other and for your children is essential for a unified marriage.
2. “I’m not interested”
You must be the most important thing in the life of your husband, and
vice versa. If he says he is no longer interested in something that was
once important to you both, even if the phrase is just part of a
discussion you are having, it needs addressing.
3. “If you had done what I said, I wouldn’t have to scream at you”
Your husband should never lift his voice at you — and especially not
because you “didn’t do something he told you to do.” Yelling at someone
happens because of a lost connection. This is a line you and your
husband should never cross. Mutual respect is a key ingredient in any
human relationship. Shouting — unless the person cannot physically hear
you otherwise — can never be justified.
4. “I don’t want to talk about it”
Physical affection and communicating feelings between married couples
are the two factors that differentiate us from other species. We are
rational beings who think and then act.
When your husband won’t communicate and avoids talking about
conflicts within your marriage, it paralyzes growth in your
relationship. Find the right time, and with gentleness and patience
create a healthy environment where you can both talk.
5. “I don’t have to tell you where I was”
You should not be the jailer of your husband, and he shouldn’t be yours; but phrases like this imply secrecy or lack of respect.
Even when you’re married, you need independence. You need to be able
to breathe freely; but telling your wife where you were is not losing
that freedom. In such situations it is important to talk to your husband
as many times as it takes. This helps you both continue to rely on each
other.
6. “I wish I’d never met you”
This is probably the most devastating phrase anyone can hear. Feeling
guilty for any bad thing that has happened to him since the day he met
you is a burden no one likes to carry. This phrase is usually used in a
heated conversation, but it should never be taken lightly. Most people
who use this phrase don’t really believe you are to blame for everything
bad in their life; they just use it to hurt you.
The most important thing in a marriage is to establish the rule that
whatever happens, and even if love ends, you will always show respect —
respect for your spouse and respect for yourself.
