Here are the three secret reasons men break up with really great women:
1. He felt pressured and inadequate
Were you constantly chasing him? Did you want more love, affection,
or s*x than what he was doling out? Did you feel like you were
frequently trying to “fix” things in the relationship? If you can
identify with any of these, there was definitely an imbalance in your
relationship, and more than likely he felt pressured and inadequate in
your presence. And it’s important that you know … that’s not at all your
fault.
Most men run from emotional pressure like they’re running for their
lives (because, in their minds, they are running for their lives).
Emotional pressure challenges the underdeveloped part of a man’s
masculinity and makes him feel ill-equipped to deal. In his mind, he
feels like anything he does isn’t (and never will be) good enough for
you. This causes men to naturally shut down and lock their hearts up
like Fort Knox, rather than deal with any more feelings of pressure or
inadequacy.
2. Your relationship felt competitive
If a man has to compete with a woman for control of the relationship,
he not only feels inadequate, but also like there’s no place for his
masculinity in his woman’s life. Keep this in mind: it’s very important.
This isn’t to say that a man should control the entire
relationship, that’s unfair to both parties. Rather, a successful
relationship has complementary forces where each person relinquishes
control in certain areas. If this doesn’t happen, both parties end up in
competition — both compete to win and, in the end, the relationship
loses.
This dynamic shows up in scenarios like these:
In a social context with friends! Did the two of you get in arguments
about who was “right” in front of friends?Financially, who is the
breadwinner? Did you make more money than him? And more importantly, was
it ever brought up in a way that emasculated him?Relationally, did you
constantly make the decisions in the relationship? Where to eat, what
fun things to do, or what movies to attend?
If he felt like you were against him instead of for him, he never
felt fully capable of opening his heart because he was afraid of losing
the “game” and getting hurt.
3. He didn’t feel respected
A man can’t build a life with a woman who doesn’t respect him. He has
to feel that his partner has his back above and beyond anyone else — he
must know that in his weakest moment, she will shower him with
acceptance. Because, you see, here is the hidden truth about your
value: you are the key to his greatness. In order for him to unlock all
that he has within him, including his tenderness and willingness to
commit, he needs a deep and underlying foundation of respect. With a
high caliber woman by his side he can take greater risks in life and
actually experience more freedom than ever possible by himself.
So now that you know the reasons why he left, how do you start to get
him back? It’s time to reflect and begin to take immediate action to
rectify the situation if you still truly love him. Once you know how to
breakthrough his defenses and touch the deepest part of his heart, he’ll
feel an overwhelming calm and trust that you truly get him.
